Category: Whining

Pushing Out

As I mentioned in my last post, a tease I called it, I do have plans to do many things in the next couple years all wrapped around my retiring next year.

It’s been a very difficult thing for me to accept and I know that for some, it’s hard for them to understand how retiring could be a difficult thing.  For some, maybe, not for me, it’s been a difficult journey to acceptance.

Understand that as an American male Baby Boomer, we were taught by our Silent Generation parents to work hard.  Remember, my parents’, in their lives went through the Great Depression as well as WWII, so they knew hardship.  They definitely did not want us to experience the financial hardships that they’d seen.

So, when I was younger, if you were male, you went to school for some that included College for others they went into a trade but whichever route you took, the expectation was that you’d work hard, get married, buy a house, etc., etc.  Most of all, you would save for tough times, be prepared.  What they didn’t tell you was when you had kids, all the saving part got much more difficult.

So, like a Kentucky thoroughbred that had been trained to run, we were trained to work and I (we) did.  Often gone too much and for too long, many times distracted and probably neglectful at home.  But we were doing what we thought we were supposed to do.

Suddenly, or so it seemed to me, I was contemplating retirement.  I felt and still feel selfish thinking about not working, it’s an alien concept.  After all, I started working officially, where I was taxed and paid Social Security, when I was 14 and I worked mowing yards, bailing hay or something else probably since I was 8. 

How could I just stop?  How can I on Friday be at work and on Monday, not?  How does one just turn that off?  I have friends that have very successfully done this, and they’ve managed to enjoy themselves and stay busy, I expect that I will too.

There’s also the financial security that working brings, now, you’re on your own and you hope that you’ve saved, invested and planned properly.  My luck, some financial planner will stumble across this and I’ll be inundated with solicitations with offers to help, for a fee.

So now, I wasted your time explaining my retirement angst all of which changes nothing so as I’ve thought about it over these many months, if I’m going to do this, there’s no point in agonizing over it and boring my friends to tears.

Years ago, I took skydiving lessons.  As a SCUBA Instructor and diver, you have to trust your training and equipment.  The difference between the two are that gravity is real.  I’ve done swimming assents from over 60 feet, and I could probably could have made it from deeper in a pinch.

I told a friend about stepping up to the door on the plane the first time you’re not jumping tandem.  At some point, you must trust that you’ve prepared and that your equipment is good and push out of the plane.  So, late next year, I’ll be pushing out.

Hopefully, that will free me up to pursue other more exciting (in a good way) things that I’ve wanted to do but never had the time because suddenly, time won’t be an impediment anymore.

On a positive note, I’m healthy, adventurous, willing, and hopefully in a financial situation that will allow me to enjoy my retirement and contribute in some meaningful way during that time.

Finally, why this in a blog that started out about the Camino?  Because for some of us, life is the Camino.  We’re all on the Way.

Black Hole

It’s been a while since my last post, for the last week to ten days, I have just been in a rut.  The reality of CV-19 in Texas and the United States is becoming overwhelming for me.

In Dallas County, where I live, most people are wearing masks, to them I say thank you.  It’s probably too early to tell but, it seems that the number of infections identified per day is beginning to go down, it had peaked at over 1,200 but today, we were on the 10th day below that peak so, maybe there’s a change starting to take hold.  Masks and closing bars is a big part of that.

The disappointing thing is that too many still feel that they should not have to wear masks.  Some claim it’s their right not to, I guess they feel that it’s also their right to infect others.  There are even people that are wearing very thin mesh masks, a giant middle finger to the world.  Because there is no legal definition of what a mask/face covering is, they can get away with it.  And, still infect others.

Fools!

There are people who are militant about not wearing a mask, some have physically attacked people who ask them to put a mask on.  I don’t understand how these people can be so selfish.  Of course, we have a President who encourages this type of behavior and a news channel that touts these idiots as heroes of some sort.  I wish no one ill but, if anyone deserves to get CV-19, these fools are it.  Sadly, the virus doesn’t know the difference between those of us who are doing our part and the selfish miscreants.

What got me so down was thinking about this going on for many more months.  While we are not currently under a mandatory stay at home order, those of us who are trying to do our part do stay home, a lot.  Restaurants are open and there is patio seating but the number of people who do not take CV-19 seriously and don’t wear masks or observe physical distancing make this a non-starter.  Besides, it’s summer in Dallas and temps outside are mid-90’s or 35C and humid, not great patio weather.

Not seeing friends and family is the toughest part.  Before CV-19, we saw our friends every week.  Dinner out was a regular thing.  We’ve not been to dinner out since the first weekend in March.  I feel like I’m in a minimum-security prison.

Yes, I can get outside but that’s usually alone and you’re ever cautious about your physical distancing, a cough can clear the entire area.  Not much joy their.

I realize that my fellow Americans created this problem, spurred on of course by President Ass Clown but man, it is wearing on me, and others.  Sadly, the way it’s looking, this will continue in the U.S. for months more.  That’s what is wearing me down.  So much of this could have been prevented.  Instead, I feel like I’m being sucked into a Black Hole.

Earlier this year, I created a new category, Whining, I’ll add this to that category.

Then the Wheels Came Off

Anyone who knows me will attest that when it comes to travel, I am an enthusiastic planner. I mentioned some months ago that the planning is part of the journey for me. And this year was going to be no different.

Then, the wheels came off the wagon that is our world. Our trip to France to cruise the Canal du Midi which was originally planned for early May and getting us back yesterday (May 21st) had to be rescheduled for September but, Mother Nature in the form or CV-19 had other plans. You may have noticed, I’ve added a new category, Whining. Should have done it long ago.

I’ve mentioned several times that mi Amiga, Katja was scheduled to come visit and would have arrived today but, that is not to be. We’d talked about the timing of her visit, earlier rather than later because it gets hot fast in Texas this time of year. Last week, it was already 103/40 in parts of west Texas where Big Bend is located.

Another cruel trick has been played upon us, the weather for the Big Bend is forecast to be beautiful next week which is why I used that as my featured image, who doesn’t need a little more torment? Temps like that this time of year are rare. Mother Nature piling on.

So, how does one remain positive when the wheels come off? After 2.5 months of stay at home, virtual Happy Hours and mask wearing, it’s tough. Even a 10 hour drive to west Texas sounds really good right now but, Big Bend National Park won’t reopen until June 1st.

So, I listen to people who are far wiser than I am. They said like the Camino, Texas will not go away, nor will Big Bend and, true friendships endure.

So, to everyone who was planning to make the trek out to Big Bend, there’s always next year or, the one after and so on…

Ultreia!