The title, a quote from J.R.R. Tolkien I think accurately describes my search since returning from the Camino almost two years ago, I’ve been pondering the concept of spirituality and if there’s a place for it or, something like it, in my life.
I feel that I developed or maybe accepted or realized a sense of something while walking my 500 miles across Spain. I know that it was not a religious conversion as I did not and do not feel any form of greater power, no God. But there’s something now that was not here before that trek, apparently, it’s obvious as friends and even my wife has commented on it.
As I wander, friends have guided me, some from their perspective driven by religiosity but not forcing a view or their faith upon me. Others have talked to me about a more universal form of spirituality. Another has talked to me about the very personal aspect of spirituality.
A friend sent me a quote from the Dalai Lama which resonated with me: “Love and compassion are the universal religion. You don’t need churches or temples to practice it. You don need to have religion or faith. It’s sufficient if you just try to be a human being with a warm heart”. To that, I’d have to say amen Brother.
In my research, maybe my quest for understanding, I came across several definitions of spirituality and most were very similar, I think this one sums up my current feeling about it:
“the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things”.
Even if I have not always been able to show it, I believe that I’ve always been a person who was concerned about others even in a world where it appears that so many don’t care about anything or anyone if it does not benefit them personally. To me, that’s a sad state. I think and I hope that I displayed this along the Camino and that this may be catalyst for my quest.
As I’ve searched and read pieces on spirituality, I found one from the Earl E. Bakken Center for Spirituality and Healing at the University of Minnesota, https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/what-spirituality. I had never really connected spirituality and healing. What I found most appealing are the concepts of Mindfulness, Meaning, Connection and Safety. At one time or another, all of these have passed through my mind as I pondered my feelings about spirituality.
Currently, I’m very focused on Mindfulness and Connection, aspects that I experienced first hand every day while on my pilgrimage. The concept of mindfulness is something that I’ve been aware of almost all my life and I acquired it when I learned to meditate 45 years ago while in High School. Surprising to some, I’ve quietly and privately continued this practice to this day.
Connection is another aspect which I experienced everyday while walking. The friends you came with or that you met there. You saw them everyday or, only once but, they managed to become your family, people you were concerned about and missed. This phenomenon is apparently quite common as it’s talked about by pilgrims all the time and discussed regularly on Blogs dedicated to the Camino.
My Way opened my eyes to so much more of the world. I’ve been places, experienced things and met people but, it was always gone rather quickly. The Camino experience and living in the moment, being connected to these people made me feel very safe, very comfortable. And, for those 35 days, I felt there was a meaning, even if I don’t to this day understand exactly what it is or was.
I now have friends from around the world that I miss seeing, we stay in touch via email or Skype as we can. My friend Katja is like one of my oldest friends now and I can’t imagine not hearing about her life, travels, job woes and her budding writing project.
I think of my friend Alex and his personal growth. I worry about Henry from Puerto Rico who’s home town of San Juan was decimated by a hurricane shortly after he returned home from his Camino.
Last year, Susan and I travelled to Ireland to visit Bernie and Nigel a wonderful gift. A side benefit was meeting our actual neighbors, G and Renzo in Dublin where G’s from and her family still lives there. Meeting her sisters and their family created as stronger connection to our neighbors and friends.
I’ve always had a large group of friends but suddenly I value my connection to them even more, it offers me a safe place when it’s difficult. And certainly, I have a new and more complex need for my family, children and wife Susan.
So, am I spiritual? By some definitions, no. By others, yes. But other’s definitions don’t concern me. By my definition, I would have to say yes. But I don’t know why or how I’ve become this way, maybe I always was but not able to see it or, I rejected it because I was told that spirituality required faith in a God.
For whatever reason, this is where I am at this moment in my life. I look forward to my return to the Camino, this time the shorter English Way and the opportunity to focus on only that moment, that place and those people. When I return home, I will strive to do the same. Wherever I am, I hope to continue my spiritual journey, wherever it takes me.
More to come…
