I’ve now received the second dose of the Moderna vaccine after driving another 150 miles round-trip to Granbury, Texas to get it. The process was much easier this time and the actual vaccination was absolutely painless, I did not feel the needle at all. Neither of us had any complications of consequence. The first dose there was a little soreness at the injection site. The second dose I had some body aches and joint stiffness (beyond the usual) the next day which lasted 4-6 hours. All are “normal” possible side effects.
While I’m happy to have been lucky enough to qualify for, locate a site to get the vaccination and to have now almost completed the 2-shot regimen, I’m feeling a bit guilty.
I’m not sure why I feel guilty, I didn’t do anything wrong; I went by the rules in place for each group and struggled with the arcane and sometimes idiotic sign-up process as did everyone else, I still have this nagging sense of guilt.
I feel a bit guilty as I watch other counties around the world continue to struggle, as we are, with getting people vaccinated. I feel guilty because we have the vaccine when most of the world does not.
I feel guilty because here in the U.S. we made it so complicated and so time consuming that many people didn’t have the time, technical knowledge or even access to the technology to find a working site or sites or to navigate those sites if they found one. Some can’t get to a mass vaccination site and there’s really no assistance for them to do so other than a rag-tag volunteer system. In many cases these people are also in groups that are hardest hit by this plague.
I feel guilty that the system created an immediate entitlement. Those who have money, were younger, had technical knowledge and access to technology and those who had easily accessible transportation. Accessible transportation in the U.S. generally means access to a private car.
I’m not wealthy but I’m better off than many. I worked hard all my life for what I have but higher income still provides a natural advantage. And even while I’m older than some, I do have technical knowledge and access to technology, primarily the internet. Many older people do not. I also have access to transportation which is good because I had to do two 150-mile round trips to get both doses of the vax.
What about those who don’t have money which makes many of the other items I listed more likely. So, I guess I feel guilty that my un-sought privilege sort of automatically put me towards the front of the line. While I’m happy to have completed my course of the Covid-19 vaccination, I worry about those who have not whether they’re down the street or on the other side of the world.
How do we level the playing field? How do we insure that if we ever make it out of this viral mess, when the next one comes along that it doesn’t play out the same way? I have no answers and I feel guilty about that too.
One final thought. The Vax has not changed my habits. Even though Texas opened up 100% (bad idea) and we have no mask mandate (another bad idea) I still don’t go out for indoor dining, I avoid crowds and I still wear a mask. So, the vax is not the end of our worries and the world is not anything like it was before Covid-19 but is is a lot like it was last month.